Monday, June 12, 2006
Continued Thoughts

The Drawing's Info
Title: "He Is"
Size: completed drawing will be 20x30 inches
Medium: graphite mechanical pencils 6H, H, and 2B
Surface: Bristol Smooth

No one knows exactly what Jesus looked like, other than that the Bible says he was nothing to look at, very ordinary, not beautiful. He was Jewish, so he had Jewish features, but other than that, no one knows.

I am not here to start a theological debate, nor do I care about the theology in it. Theology has nothing to do with this drawing. Everything in the drawing is purely symbolic to me. The background, the dirt on his face, the clothing...it is all symbolic. I do not care about historical facts, politics, or theology in the making of this drawing. The items, features, and placement of items found in this drawing are purely from my imagination. I have used 4 different models and have combined them to create a new image. I am only trying to create a visual message and idea to those who view this.

I am a believer in Christ, and I follow Him wholeheartedly, but I am not religious. Religion destroys what Christ is all about. Faith is what He is all about. This drawing is everything Christ is to me. He is life, love, hope, joy, pain, hurt, sacrifice......the list is unending. He is my all.

This drawing has been teaching me a lot, not only artistically or technically (because each new work is a learning process), but teaching me more about myself. I do not know how to describe to you what it is, but this drawing is moving me in ways I never knew. There is such a strength of feeling in me with this piece. I do not know if I can contain it. I'm definitely putting up a good fight, but it makes me wonder....would it be better for me if I didn't fight it? What if I did stop fighting...would it make this piece even better? Or would I lose all the passion I am feeling, and then lose the drawing? Answers only I, myself, can find. It is like all of the walls I have built up over the years are just coming to my attention. I don't know what it is about this drawing.....his eyes.....they pierce into my very soul. I have never had a drawing of my own do this to me. As difficult as it is to continue at times, I fervantly hope that every work I do from now will conitnue to do this to me. Feeling emotion isn't easy for me, but I do believe it is making me a better artist.

Whenever I work I always have music playing. Music inspires and motivates me artistically. I like to have a mixture of different songs from different musicians playing, but there is one song that is so incredibly moving to me currently. It is Inside, Outside by Delirious.

Delirious - Inside Outside

From the album World Service

Inside outside, under my skin
Never ending love I don’t know where it begins?
I don’t know where it ends, I don’t know how high
I don’t know how deep, I don’t know how wide

Outside inside around the world
Never ending love envelops me like a cloud
I feel you in front, I feel you behind I feel you up above,
And I feel you at the side

And you, you’re all over me, you’re all over me
Your banner is over me, I give it all ‘cos

You still captivate me, fascinate me
You still captivate me, saturate me

Inside outside, pulling me in
No matter where I run I know you’ll never give in
I see you in the storm, I see you in a kiss
I’ve been around the world and never found a love like this

You’re all over me, you’re all over me
You’re everything I want to be
I’m all over you, you’re everything I want to see
You’re all over me

You still captivate me, fascinate me
You still captivate me, saturate me
You still captivate me, liberate me
You still captivate me